I often quote Robert Frost’s these lines, whenever I feel the blues or feel a shiver up my spine:
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
It’s 2+ years since I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and all the organs that made me a woman was removed overnight. I went through phases of denial, anger, acceptance, grief and loneliness, but after getting treated by a team of able doctors and going through the whole experience, I cannot help but count my blessings. I am alive!
The disease and the treatment made me realize the value of the relationships and the support system I have in my life. My family, friends and the team of wonderful doctors made me realize that I am indeed blessed. They were such a tower of strength, particularly my husband of 26 years. I was worried that he would be stolen by the hospital staff for being so caring and supportive all through my treatment! Whenever, I was driven to take a round in the corridor post- operation by my family of ‘Hitlers’ to hasten the healing process, I made it a point to continue to count the blessing. For example, I made it a point to look at the age in the records during my walk and thank God that he had given me decent health till the age of 47. Yes, I learnt tI was ever so glad to realise that my children were grown up enough to comprehend the treatment that I was going through and that I had not got this dreaded disease when I was younger. I also am glad that I have sufficient money and wherewithal to go through this in the best of medical facilities.
Looking back, I feel lucky and blessed that I had grown up children; I had the financial support to get myself treated in some of the best hospitals in Bangalore by skilled and talented doctors. I am glad that I can safely tell my daughter to call my friend at 11.30 in the night knowing very well that she will be in a position to organise two units of blood on the eve of my surgery. I also am glad that I have such friends whose husband and daughter drive across Bengaluru at an unearthly hour to give me blood.
Quoting Eleanor Roosevelt who stated, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” Though in 2014 my life seemed to be covered with grey clouds, but as I emerge victorious, I can appreciate the little things in life, value the love and care of my family, count the blessings and admire life and people more.